Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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