All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
