You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
