Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you never un-have a 4some
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
