When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
