im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
