I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
