I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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