i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
