You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
