Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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