id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i love accidental penises.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
