i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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