I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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