if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
