He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
