Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
