Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
