He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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