I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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