We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
