your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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