I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
