so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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