You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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