I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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