I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
