Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
