Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
