I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize