Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize