I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize