you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
