Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
