Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
