Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
