I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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