In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
