love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
And then he peed in my hair
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