I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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