i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
