My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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