im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
