I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
