I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
