Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
