At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
