just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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