i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
