Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize