It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
