Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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