Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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