I am in a vortex of obligation.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize