is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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