he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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