I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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